Want to Lead your Life and Career more Intentionally? — How to Choose your Development Approach

6 min readOct 12, 2023

This is the last installment of this series of articles about the partner-based development approach…

A little recap.

It all started when I compared the “vessel” we need to take us to the destination of our choice (instead of “being a leaf floating along the Flow of the River of Life”) to professional and personal development, saying that there are 3 types of development approaches available to us:

The expert-based development approach;
The self-based development approach; and
The partner-based development approach.

I then expanded on what I meant by partner-based development approach in follow-up articles (part 1 and part 2):

It’s all about YOU!
But you’re not on your own!
You’re having a “true” 2-way interactive conversation
What I do with this partner-based development approach
How I intend to provide this partner-based development approach
The benefits
What it isn’t

In this last installment, I’m looking at how you can decide on which development approach is most suitable to you, in your present circumstances.

If you haven’t read my 3 previous articles about this partner-based approach, I suggest you check them out first here:

Want to Lead your Life and Career more Intentionally? Here Are 3 Development Approaches to Consider!
Want to Lead Your Life and Career more Intentionally? — The Partner-based Development Approach… (part 1)
Want to Lead Your Life and Career more Intentionally? — The Partner-based Development Approach… (part 2)

First, let’s compare these 3 development approaches

To be clear, I don’t think one approach is always better than the others!

But I think that depending on your needs, wants, circumstances, and personality at the time you’re looking into these development approaches, one is very likely to suit you better than the others!

In different circumstances, another approach might be more suitable!

Also, you may realize that you need to move from one approach to another based on your own evolution, or changes to your circumstances…

And, finally, you may be more interested in an option that incorporates several of these approaches, maybe at different levels of incorporation depending on where you are in your development journey…

Ask yourself these questions before investing in an expert-based approach

Reminder: the expert-based approach refers to development options in which the flow of information is from the “expert” to you (university education, professional qualifications, training, books, webinars, etc.).

What is the real reason you decided to go for a specific expert-based development option (like doing another degree, taking a professional qualification, or even reading a specific book)?
Is it because you’ll integrate what you learn into your day-to-day life?
Is it because it’s “good” for you to be known to have that specific knowledge or qualification?
Is it because you’re getting “formal” recognition (like letters behind your name)?
Is it because it’s what “successful” people around you do?
How “adapted” is that expert-based option to your own needs and wants, present circumstances, and personality?
Is the structure (times of the sessions, work required, availability, etc.) fitting in with your other priorities?
Is the amount of work required aligned with what you’re hoping to get out of the development?
Are all the topics of interest / value to you?
Is the stated value (impact on your life) of that option what you really, really want right now?
How about motivation, ownership, and accountability?
Will you get the “motivation” to take action based on what you learn? — Look back at past expert-based learnings and how often, how well you integrate these learnings in your day-to-day life…
Will you fully “own” the learnings, the changes to make, and the work required to maintain these changes?
Will you hold yourself accountable for integrating these learnings in your day-to-day life, for making the changes, for maintaining them?

Take the time to consider your answers, and then reflect on this question:

Is this expert-based option the most suited to your needs, wants, circumstances, and personality?

If the answer is “no”, or “not sure” — then take the time to consider another development approach (like the partner-based approach!).

Ask yourself these questions before investing in a self-based approach

Reminder: the self-based approach refers to methods that only include YOU, and your knowledge and experiences to date, but without any external input (such as self-reflection, meditation).

Is it the right time / circumstances for you to be alone with your thoughts?
Are you able to “expand” your thoughts on your own, so you can actually develop?
Are you able to identify “discrepancies” in your thoughts?
Are you able to reflect back on your own thoughts?
Are you able to stop your thoughts from going around in circles in your head?
Are your thoughts getting organized so you can actually develop your thinking, moving along from a vague idea or feeling to something that is “taking shape”?
Are you able to express your thoughts — which helps you to “structure” them, like when having to write them down, or to explain them to someone?
Are you able to visualize where these thoughts could take you to?
Are you able to get clarity on how to start moving toward this “visualization”?
How about motivation, ownership, and accountability?
Will you be able to keep the momentum of your intrinsic motivation going on your own?
Will you truly “own” your self-learning: take one action after another, make changes, and keep going even in “down” periods?
Will you hold yourself accountable for integrating these learning in your day-to-day life, for making the changes, for maintaining them?

Take the time to consider your answers, and then reflect on this question:

Is this self-based approach the most suited to your needs, wants, circumstances, and personality?

If the answer is “no”, or “not sure” — then take the time to consider another development approach (like the partner-based approach!).

So, how do you choose your development approach?

Well, as I said above:

There isn’t one approach that is always better than the others!
It all depends on your needs, wants, circumstances, and personality at the time you’re looking into these development approaches!
If your overall situation changes, then a different approach might be more suitable!
It may be best for you to move from one approach to another based on your own evolution, or changes to your circumstances…
You may prefer an option that incorporates several of these approaches, maybe at different levels of incorporation depending on where you are in your development journey…

So, how do you go about your selection process?

Here are some key questions to ask yourself, and steps to take:

What is it you really want to achieve? Maybe you know exactly what it is… Or maybe you need to get some clarity first…
What are your key criteria:
Learn from an expert, develop from within yourself, evolve on your terms, explore some thoughts…
What works best for you?
Time, energy, environment, flexibility, finances…
Urgency of the output, your other priorities, impact on people around you…
What else?
What are the different options available to you right now, or shortly?
In which type of development approach (or a combination of approaches) do each of these options fit?
Now compare (and prioritize) the options available to you with what you really want and your criteria.
Investigate the options at the top of your prioritized list (for example, the top 3), keeping in mind what you really want and your criteria.
Pick one, and start taking action to make this (the “what you really want”) happen.
Regularly review your progress, and ask yourself if it’s time to switch to another development approach.

Conclusion

This is the end (for now) of my series of articles about the partner-based development approach — an approach that I’ve been reflecting on and developing while writing these articles, and look forward to integrating it into my work!

I hope these articles will raise your awareness of how you prefer to develop yourself, both professionally and personally, what works best for you, and when…

I also hope these articles will make you question, or reflect on, the “vessel” you’re on right now, whether you’re the captain of that “vessel”, how easy it is to maneuver that “vessel”… and whether it even is the right “vessel” for where you want to go…

And now…

Want to get regular sparks of inspiration, motivation, and education about how to empower yourself and develop your self-leadership? Then subscribe to my Pistachio-Cassis Newsletter! You can also follow me on LinkedIn.

Want to know more about me and what I do? Then check out Pistachio-Cassis Coaching website!

And, finally, I’d love to hear from you if you have any feedback, suggestions, or anything else you want to tell me! — email me at christelle@pistachiocassis.com.

Disclaimer

The views and opinions expressed in this article are solely those of the writer.